Music and You

You and music are my two favorite things

When you and music becomes one, it turns into a very beautiful thing

You will play the piano or guitar and I will sing for you

And then the world will froze for a moment, there's only you and me

The only thing that's left for me and you is music

Every single song I pick, I sing it for you

When you're not watching, I'm watching you

It's like my eyes were glued on you, they're keeping you in sight

When you're not around, the world around me turns to grey

Friends become strangers, and all colors disappeared

Music stops for a while, the room becomes empty

As if nothing else matters in the world anymore

You are the most beautiful when you're happy

And when I saw you cried the other day, my heart crushed into pieces

That's why your name is in my prayer all the time

Your happiness is what I'm always asking the most from Him

Music is the only thing that's left for me and you

'Cause that's the only thing that makes me close to you

I remember every moment when we sit behind the piano

And you tried your best to learn all the songs I pick

The things that seemed so small to you, become big things for me

I keep counting every moment we shared together

'cause the only thing that's left for me is memory about you

There is no expectation, there's only moment to cherish

When I First See You

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

It was almost 11 pm, Mecca time, when I and the jamaah arrived at the Majidil Haram for umroh. My heart felt like it was tickled by a warm breeze when I first stepped into the floor of the Mosque, still couldn't believe that I was finally reached that sacred place. Masha Allah, I didn't even dare to dream to be able to visit that place at such a young age, I was afraid, I didn't think I was ready and deserved to be there, but Allah SWT has called and He didn't wait. He knows that I was at the lowest point of my life, I was in the most miserable state, I felt like my dream and hope were crushed. I needed help and hug from people but I was afraid to tell anyone that I needed a helping hand. And who could help you and lift you out of the ground better than Allah SWT? The Almighty showed His mercy to me, He called upon me and my brothers and invited us to His 'house', the place where all Muslims in the world gathered together. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar :")  

Mecca is a city that never sleeps, especially the Masjidil Haram. For 24 hours, everyone is doing thawaf, umroh, and other prayers around the Ka'bah. There are also people who were just sitting around the Ka'bah while reciting Quran or just watching the sacred quadrangle, because it felt relaxing and peaceful by just watching it. You just don't get bored, no matter how long you're staying in it. Sometimes you can also have a chat with random people who came from many different countries. There are some pigeons and eagles flying above Ka'bah, but none of their dirt fall nor contaminate Ka'bah. That's kind of amazing :')

A lot of people I know told me that they were not ready yet to do Umroh nor Hajj because of many reasons, one of them being the fear of getting their sins showed right in their face when they're in Mecca or Madinah. Honestly, there's nothing to be afraid of. Allah's mercy is greater than his anger, and sure we will definitely have to face some trials during our visit there, sometimes we will get to see our reflection in others and some of them are good and some are bad, because that's us human. That will only make us learn more about ourselves, practice our patience, and evaluate ourselves so we can become better as human beings. As long as you have faith in Him and keep asking his forgiveness and guidance, you don't have to worry about anything else. The happiness, peacefulness, and lessons you'll gain are so much more than your fear.

It would be better if you take the chance to do Umroh and Hajj when you're still young. What's better way to spend our energy and young spirit than doing the things that will please Allah, and give the peacefulness to ourselves as well? Don't wait until you get old, because no one promised you a long life. If a lot of people can easily travel abroad, then the place that they should visit first is definitely Mecca and Madinah. There is no better holiday destination than these places.

I'm still longing for you, I wish I will have a chance to come to Your House again, Ya Allah. Thank you for giving me the chance to learn and experience such a great moment during my days there. I'll see you again, Insha Allah.

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

I Dreamed A Dream

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

Honestly, I do not have any guts to dream anymore. I don't know how can I be this weak. Although my mind have already get over the past failures, my heart is still aching all the time whenever I remember it, or being reminded about it. I'm feel like I will never good enough for that dream. But, I'm longing for it, the thing I love the most, and yet it's so unreachable. It feels like I was trying to stop my heart from beating whenever I remember that dream. It hurts, it makes me breathless, it makes me insecure, but I know this time... I can't do anything about it. Because for this one matter, I know I don't have what it takes, and I know that no matter how hard I've tried, for this one dream, it will end up just the same.