Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ini semua adalah proses

Gue mempertanyakan setiap hari sejak hari pertama TRAPARA (Training Paduan Suara), "Mungkin hari ini gue berhenti aja mengikuti kegiatan TRAPARA. Gue lelah dengan segala sit up itu. Gue lelah dengan segala caci maki dan bentakan." 

Kini, 16 hari sudah berlalu, dan gue masih bertahan. Masih ada 12 hari lagi untuk dilalui. Keinginan untuk menyerah masih menghantui, mempengaruhi, menggoda. Gue ingin kembali menjadi kupu-kupu yang bisa menghabiskan 12 jam di depan komputer. Gue ingin menonton dorama-dorama Jepang itu. Gue ingin menjadi pemalas lagi. Gue ingin menjadi pecundang lagi. Tapi, wajah-wajah saudara seperjuangan di Maximilian melindungi dari bisikan-bisikan syaitan itu.

Gue ingin jadi keren. Ingin melakukan yang terbaik. Ingin mampu melalui semua pelajaran ini. Yang terpenting, gue nggak ingin kehilangan keluarga baru ini. Memang belum lama kita saling mengenal. Bagaimana bisa kita menyebut orang-orang yang baru dikenal selama kurang lebih dua minggu sebagai keluarga? Bukankah itu berlebihan dan naif? Jauh di dasar hati pun, gue belum benar-benar merasakan kekeluargaan. Tapi, gue nggak bisa mengesampingkan rasa peduli terhadap mereka. Gue nggak ingin mereka sakit. Gue nggak ingin menjadi penyebab kesakitan mereka. Gue ingin berjuang bersama mereka. 

Gue belum yakin dengan kekeluargaan diantara kita, tapi jauh di lubuk hati, gue tahu bahwa gue ingin konser perdana kita sebagai Maximilian nanti dilengkapi oleh orang-orang yang telah bersama selama masa TRAPARA ini. Oleh karena itu, gue akan menguatkan diri. Gue akan bertahan. Gue akan berjuang. Gue akan melakukan yang terbaik demi meringankan sedikit saja beban di hati kawan-kawan itu. Ini semua adalah proses, dan kita menjalaninya bersama, dari awal, dan akan begitu terus hingga akhir.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

2012 and My Fangirl Needs

In 2011, I started listening to Jpop, and my heart completely fell for NEWS and Hey!Say!JUMP. In 2011, NEWS lost two very important members: Tomohisa Yamashita and Ryo Nishikido. In 2011, Hey!Say!JUMP lost its youngest member, Ryutaro Morimoto. It took some time for me to recover from the heartbreak I got from that news, but life goes on, and seems like my idols have moved on. So far, I've got some great news from two of my favorite groups:

1. Tegoshi Yuya to star in a movie (Hotaru no Hikaru)
Although Tegoshi won't be the lead role, this is one of the most phenomenal movies in Japan (that's what I read from some articles and comments, but I myself have never watched it) and it is said that Tegoshi would play a new character who will be the key to the story development.

2. Tomohisa Yamashita and Yuri Chinen to star in a new drama together (Saikō no jinsei no owari-kata)
Yamapi is not my favorite actor, nor my favorite member when he was in NEWS, but I always enjoy his dramas and his songs. Now, I'm so looking forward to this new drama because of Chinen! It's been a while since he played in a drama again. He will be Yamapi's little brother in the drama. What a unique combination in my opinion. 😃

3. Ryosuke Yamada to star in a new drama ('Ideal Son')
Some people said that Yamada's role will be very different compared to the roles he had in his previous dramas (most of them were as a young handsome detective), so that's the only highlight. I'm looking forward to it, though... since I always love Yamada's acting. Yuto Nakajima will also play along with Yamada in this drama! He would play as Yamada's friend. Yattaaa.... It's been a while since I saw Yuto act. I can smell a new Hey!Say!JUMP single coming in January! 😆

4. Shigeaki Kato to debut in literary work and release the first book
This is the most exciting news of all the good news that I've received from my beloved boys so far because this is really a new thing for JE Talents. I've written my thought about this in my previous post. I'm sooo happy and so looking forward to this book since I'm a fan of Shige's essays and j-web posts 💚

5. Daiki Arioka to star in a Taiga drama (Chusingura, Sono gi Sono Ai)
I think my little brother will be more excited about this drama than I am. I'm not a fan of this kind of drama, but my little brother loves it so much. But this is great because it's been a while since Daiki act in a drama again ✊

Btw, it's the popular trio who gets to star in dramas again. I hope my boy Yuya will also have some spotlights for himself this year, and Keito, and Inoo, and Yabu, who deserved love as much as the other three get. 

And please let the new NEWS release singles and if possible, an album in 2012 too. I feel the need to support them now!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

So Proud of You, Shige!!

Have I told you I love NEWS? Okay, I'm still a big fan of Hey!Say!JUMP, but I can't help to fall in love with NEWS, a very interesting group. They are... how can I say it... different from other groups. Ever since their debut with nine members until now with the remaining four members, I still love them. They are so full of many different colors. There are great actors, great music composers, great newscaster, great singers, great comedians, and a very talented writer in one group. And now, it has been announced that Shigeaki Kato will make a debut in the literary work with his book, Pink and Gray. He is by far is the first Johnny's talents who make a debut as a novelist. He does something that no one else (in Johnny's) has accomplished yet. Shige, you're amazing!! 

credit picture to http://spilledmilk25.livejournal.com/

If you are interested to read the details about Shige's book, go here. I hope there will be an English version of his book. I really want to read it. Ever since I read his writing in some magazines, I knew that he's a good writer. Ganbatte, writer Shige-san ❤

Friday, November 18, 2011

You are white, I am black
You are a prince charming
I am an ugly duck
You are so close
Yet you seem so far
Why did we meet each other in the first place?
Why can't I stop looking at you?
Why did I feel worried when you were sick?
I refuse to call it love
I don't want to feel that emotion again
At least not for now
Even after those being said 
I still can't stop to think about you


PS: Please take care of your health, don't make me worry again.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sayonara, Ryutaro!

I guess it's official. His name is no longer in Hey!Say!JUMP's page on Johnny's web. There is no better clarification than this. When a JE member left his respective group, their name will be deleted from its respective page. That's what happened to Uchi, Kusano, Yamapi, and Ryo in NEWS, and Akanishi Jin in KAT-TUN. And this time, I'm not really surprised when I heard about it. Back in July, when I heard that Ryutaro was suspended due to underage smoking, I cried a lot, but I still had high hope that someday he would return to Hey!Say!JUMP after his suspension finished. A month ago, Yamapi and Ryo left NEWS. I cried again, and I learned something: don't put your hope too high on idols. You can't expect them to be something you wanted them to be. So, I gradually learn to accept the fact that NEWS is 4 members now. And now, Ryutaro also left the group (or being kicked out by Johnny, I don't know and I will never know), but I didn't cry. I'm tired of crying for these kinds of matters over an idol. But somewhere deep in my heart, I feel like something is missing. I'm sad, but my tears won't fall. Ryutaro is not my favorite, but HSJ without him is indeed different. Hey!Say!JUMP has ten letters and divided into two subgroups, BEST and 7, each subgroup has 5 members. That's the concept of Hey!Say!JUMP. Now, without Ryutaro, is it mean that there won't be BEST and 7 anymore? I don't know. Time will tell. Now, I can only hope the best for them, for JUMP and Ryutaro. Leaving the group doesn't mean the end of his world. Maybe he would someday back to the entertainment world as a soloist, and maybe that's the best for him since he didn't get the spotlights as much as he deserves. Time will tell us and time will heal our pain of losing him as a part of JUMP. He's a member who will forever be missed. Ganbatte, Hey!Say!JUMP. Ganbatte, Ryutaro. Thank you for being our little hamster for these past 4 years ❤

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Isaka and Maximilian

Today is really exhausting. It feels really nice now that I'm already on my bed. Today was supposed to be my day off, but one of my lecturers asked my class to come to college because we had to go to PUTIKNAS. It is a broadcasting studio in UIN, and I and my classmates had fun there. We learned many things about television and broadcasting in a real place with those awesome cameras and stuff 😁

Today is also the first day of my activity in PSM UIN Jakarta. I'll be spending about 5 hours in college from 4.00 pm until 9.00 pm every day. Even on Monday, I have to spend about 10 hours, from 7.00 am until 5.00 pm. It'd be so exhausting, but today was fun. We learned how to read musical notes, etc. I had learned about this stuff in elementary school, but I've forgotten about it, hahaha... so it's nice to learn it again. Reading musical notes is fun and makes me understand music even more. We also learned how to do conducting. It was quite difficult to sing and conducting at the same time. We have to feel the music so we could make a good rhyme with our hands. It was indeed interesting. Btw, I'll be really busy for a month because I haven't become a member of PSM officially yet. We have to be able to go through all these lessons in a month without breaking the rules and I have to pass the mid-test too. I need to work hard and put all my effort into it because I really want to be in PSM. Of course, all those strict rules are somewhat annoying, but I need to sacrifice things to get the things I want, right? Besides, Mabit had taught me how to survive in such strict and difficult circumstances, so I'll show them that I'll get through this perfectly! Ganbarimasu!!

Oh, there's a funny and interesting rule in PSM UIN Jakarta. All members of PSM must have a new name made by our seniors. We must use this name when we're in PSM activities and all members of PSM must call us with those new names. My PSM name is Isaka. They said this name has a nice meaning, but when I look for it on google, I only found out that this is the name of a town. Haha, anyone could tell me what it means? I kinda like it, though. It sounds like a Japanese name. Every generation has its own name too, just like what I had in Mabit: Auxiliary 2010. And my PSM generation name is Maximilian. It means strong fighter or something like that.

Well, I already have quite a lot of nicknames since I was a kid: my family called me Ade, and they have never called me by my name, not even once. My family called me Andria, from Rosandria. My school friends called me Denisa. My childhood friends called me Nisa. My Mabit friends called me Caca. And now, my PSM friends will be calling me Isaka. Oh well, as long as you don't call me any insulting names, I'm fine haha. Well, that's all for today. Please use the time in your youth to the fullest too, so you won't regret it when you're getting old. Haha, oyasuminasai! 💜

Monday, November 7, 2011

Guru yang Baik

Gue banyak menonton drama tentang guru. Dari semua drama itu, satu hal yang pasti gue pelajari mengenai guru yang baik: selalu berusaha untuk memiliki keyakinan pada muridmu, apapun yang terjadi. Bahkan ketika semua orang tidak peduli dan menyalahkan murid kita, kita harus tetap berusaha sebisa mungkin memahami alasannya, dan percaya padanya. Dengan begitu, murid itu akan percaya pada kita. Entahlah, apakah itu terlalu naif? Bahkan meski murid kita berbohong, kita harus percaya padanya? Bagaimana kalau murid itu menganggap kita bodoh dan meremehkan kita? Harga diri kita jatuh dan kita tak lagi mendapat hormat dari murid. 

Tapi, apakah hanya harga diri dan kehormatan yang lebih penting? Entahlah. Guru yang baik masih menjadi misteri bagi gue. Mungkin gue tidak akan bisa menjadi guru yang baik, tapi gue ingin menjadi seperti guru di drama-drama itu, yang selalu bisa yakin dan percaya dengan muridnya. Mungkin gue akan menjadi guru paling lemah sedunia kalau begitu, ya?

-terinspirasi menulis ini setelah melihat pertengkaran antar guru dan murid di timeline twitter.