Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Pergolakan

Timpang sebelah. Seperti jungkat-jungkit yang dimainkan sendirian. Sama sekali tidak menyenangkan. Ingin berpindah ke mainan yang lain, entah yang bisa dimainkan beramai-ramai atau yang bisa dinikmati sendiri, tapi raga ini terpaku, tak mau bergerak, memaksa bertahan, memaksa percaya bahwa akan datang teman yang mau bermain jungkat-jungkit bersama. 

Mencapai puncaknya. Hati menjadi terlalu lelah. Tak ada yang datang untuk menemani bermain. Menunggu, menunggu, menunggu. Berharap, berharap, berharap, hingga raga ini tak sanggup. Akhirnya tumbang. Karam. Hilang. Tak dipedulikan. Tak dipertanyakan. Tak diingat. Selamat tinggal.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Idhul Fitri 2012

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb. 

Tahun ini mengisi lebaran dengan mudik ke kampung halaman Papa di Blitar, Jawa Timur. Dan di malam Takbiran, terjadi kejadian dramatis yang menyebabkan kaki kanan gue keseleo parah. Astaghfirullah, nggak lagi-lagi deh pecicilan dan lompat tanpa melihat kanan kiri, hahaha. Well, paling tidak hal ini memberikan gue banyak pelajaran di hari kemenangan ini. Gue jadi sadar banget bahwa gue itu SANGAT TAKUT dengan perpisahan kehilangan, tapi kejadian tersebut membuat gue belajar untuk lebih mengingat bahwa saat-saat itu pasti datang, siap ataupun tidak, dan kita harus menerimanya karena segala hal di dunia ini datang karena Allah, hidup untuk Allah, dan akan kembali juga kepada Allah. :')

Sholat Ied sambil menahan kaki yang keseleo itu.... indescribable. Kenikmatan dalam rasa sakit atas rasa syukur karena bisa meraih hari kemenangan dan kesadaran akan berharganya masa sehat. Dan ketika keluarga yang lain bersilaturahmi ke rumah saudara-saudara di Blitar, gue cuma bisa bengong di rumah karena nggak bisa jalan. Alhamdulillah, hal ini membuat gue merenung tentang banyak hal dan begitu banyak pelajaran yang gue dapat. I realized that when human is on their lowest point of their lives, their weakest moment, that moment they would want to get closer to Allah the most. Seperti saat bersujud. Saat-saat paling dekat kita kepada Allah justru saat kita berada di posisi terendah, saat kita mengesampingkan segala kesombongan dan membenamkan wajah kita pada Bumi, menghadap Allah yang Maha Tinggi. :) This year might not be the best ending, but the lessons I got can't be replaced with anything. Alhamdulillah. 

Anyway, here's some pictures along the trip~ 

Blitar
  
  
  

 
 
  

Malang, Pandaan
  
  
  
  
  


Jogjakarta
  
  
  
  

  
  
  

Btw, keseleo itu nggak menghalangi gue untuk tetap bersenang-senang selama liburan. Meski harus pakai perban agar bisa jalan (dan sebenernya gue lumayan suka melihat kaki gue diperban, kayaknya jadi terlihat keren gimanaaa gitu seolah gue baru balik dari perang, hahaha). Kaki keseleo itu gue ajak main bola, lari-larian, jalan-jalan, main tendang-tendangan sama adek gue, dan Alhamdulillah, sekarang sudah mulai membaik meski masih pincang. Semoga cepat sembuh deh sebelum kuliah dimulai. Amin.

 Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Legend of Korra

I watched Avatar: The Legend of Korra. Here's the review: 
The world is now at peace since Avatar Aang and Prince Zuko came together to unite all nations to become one. Now they live in Republic City where all benders of four elements live together in harmony. The story revolves around Korra, the next Avatar after Aang died and reincarnated to a young girl and a waterbender. Avatar- The Last Airbender was all about Aang trying to master other three elements except air bending and he had to hide his identity as Avatar or The Fire Nation would catch and kill him, while Avatar Korra has master all three elements, water, earth, and fire, and she's very proud of her identity as Avatar. Nonetheless, Korra faces difficulty to master air bending and she couldn't bring herself to meditate and meet the previous Avatars to ask for help. Moreover, she has to protect her country from Equalist, an anti-bender revolutionary group. The Equalists are non-benders led by a mysterious masked man, Amon. Their goal is to bring about "equality" between benders and non-benders, and Amon has the ability to remove a person's bending ability. It's almost impossible to believe since the only one who could possess such power is only the Avatar.


The Legend of Korra has more complicated story than The Legend of Aang. The world where Aang and his friends were fighting for their lives looks like a very ancient world compared to the world in Avatar Korra, LOL... It's really interesting everytime Aang shows up in the episodes of Avatar Korra as adult, hahaha. Which one do I like the most? Hmm... both story are great, but sure Avatar Kora has developed a lot in the plot, but The Legend of Aang has special impression for me. I always love Aang (and Prince Zuko!) but Korra and his new pals are great as well. I don't think I can really choose hahaha. 

Ah, I love Avatar :D

PS: I'll be leaving to East Java for Mudik. Happy Ied Mubarok to all Muslims. Mohon maaf lahir dan batin :D

Monday, August 13, 2012

I'm annoying and this post is annoying as well

Some people just can't tell the difference between 'sharing' and 'show off'. Negative thoughts... Negative thoughts everywhere. I'm not trying to lecture, just want to share every piece of knowledge I got, because when we get new lesson, we shouldn't keep it for ourselves. Sadly, some people take it as if I'm trying to fish compliments from people by tweeting a lot of such things. :/

 "Twitter is full of life-prosecutors, fault-predators. I always feel like a deer who always be haunted by those eagle eyes." - Lullaby. Couldn't said it better.

So, here's the thing...

I used to tweet a lot of craps about my unimportant daily life, and I still do it even now. Just not as much. Now, alhamdulillah, Allah open my eyes and save me from my Jahiliyah time (lol). I'm trying to be better person, trying to learn deeper about my religion, and I realized that I should share these lessons I got because I'm sure they'll be useful not only for me but for others as well. Ever hear this saying, 

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of it will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared and so does knowledge." -@IslamicThinking

That's what I'm trying to do. And it's also part of da'wa to spread the truth about Islam, which is our main purpose as khalifa in this world. Some people disagree and then they badmouthing about you. I just can't believe that there's someone who actually has a heart to think that what I'm doing is to reach people's attention. This is what they called being adult. Some people whom you thought were nice are actually talk about you behind and without your knowing, they will stab you :"

At first, those people bothered me and made me feel guilty because I'm afraid that I probably have offend them without my knowing, but I decided to not give a damn about it. Moving on. Let others say what they want, I'll stay cool and indifferent. I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Knowldge meant to be shared anyway. At least these people have taught me something. Just like what my pal said, 

"anyone in any situation could give you enough lesson how these people are equal in God's eyes." - Lullaby

So, people, if you're tired of my tweets, simply click the unfollow button. I don't mind really. :)

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Pagi Ini...

Hari ini akhirnya aku bisa menjalani sholat Shubuh berjamaah lagi dengan Papa setelah kurang lebih 10 hari kedatangan tamu bulanan. Aura yang masih sama. Sholat berjamaah yang indah. Bagian favoritku adalah ketika sharing seusai Shubuh hingga fajar terbit. Selalu berkesan. Selalu ada ilmu baru atau ilmu lama yang kembali diingatkan. Papa selalu mengambil pelajaran dari hal-hal yang sering tidak disadari orang lain, hal yang sebenarnya mudah disadari, tapi jarang yang menyadarinya. Kind of complicated in some ways, haha. 

Orang yang membuatku tertarik untuk mempelajari agamaku lebih dalam juga Papa. Tanpa paksaan, hanya dengan sharing yang menyenangkan, ia membawaku pada ketertarikan itu. Memang setiap Muslim wajib mempelajari agamanya, tapi jaman sekarang peduli untuk sholat aja udah banyak yang menyepelekan. Apalagi aku sempat berada di masa Jahiliyah yang sulit. Papa tanpa diminta selalu memberitahu arti-arti bacaan sholat padaku, dan aku tergugah, dan akhirnya sekarang sholatku jadi lebih terasa indah. Insya Allah.

Di antara tiga bersaudara, memang aku yang paling dekat dengan Papa. Beliau menceritakan segalanya padaku, masa sulitnya ia ceritakan dengan gembira dan ia mengajakku untuk menertawakan kesedihan, bahwa semua cobaan ini datangnya dari Allah, dan kita tidak pantas untuk mengeluh. Kenapa? Karena semakin berat cobaan yang kita dapat, semakin tinggi derajat kita dinaikan. Bukan mengeluh, tapi kita harus banyak bersyukur atas semua itu. Papa telah mengajarkanku pandangan hidup yang berbeda dari orang lain. Mengobrol 2 jam dengannya membuka cakrawala yang sangat luas bagiku.

Bukannya membanggakan diri sendiri karena paling dekat dengan Papa, tapi kedua saudaraku memang tidak berusaha mendekati Papa. Ada yang menutup diri karena memang sifatnya yang aneh, dan ada yang terlalu sibuk bermain dengan dunianya, sehingga mereka tidak pernah benar-benar berbicara dengan Papa dari hati ke hati. Diantara kita bertiga, hanya aku yang tahu kisah Papa sebagai anak yatim yang keinginannya pernah dikabulkan oleh Allah hanya dalam 3 hari setelah Beliau memintanya, tanpa sadar. Hanya aku yang tahu kisah-kisah heroik Papa yang tidak bisa menahan diri kalau melihat ada yang mendzalimi orang lain di depannya. Papa tidak pernah bercerita hal itu pada kedua saudaraku, hanya aku yang tahu. 

Pagi ini aku ingin menangis. Ada kerinduan yang tersirat dari Papa terhadap kedua anaknya yang lain saat mengobrol denganku, namun Beliau tidak mengeluh. Papaku begitu bijak menanggapi kesibukan kedua anaknya yang lain. 

"Yang penting kalau mereka membutuhkan sesuatu, Papa akan selalu siap untuk membantu dan membimbing. Papa tidak perlu mengumbar kan kalau Papa mendoakan mereka..." 

Aku menyayangkan sekali, betapa kedua saudaraku telah melewatkan masa-masa yang berharga karena mengobrol dengan Papa benar-benar membawa ilmu yang bermanfaat dan bahkan hidayah untuk gadis brutal sepertiku. Kata Papa, yang penting doanya sudah terkabul. Doa yang dipanjatkannya jauh sebelum kita bertiga lahir: "Ya Allah, berikanlah kami anak dari isteri-isteri kami yang bisa menjadi pemimpin, bisa melanjutkan dakwah agamamu, dan selalu menyenangkan hati kami..."

"Meski jarang mengobrol, tapi Mas Inu sudah bisa berkembang dengan ilmu yang baik, walaupun ia mencarinya dengan mandiri. Lalu, Ade yang selalu ada untuk diajak sharing dan bisa menerima hal-hal baru dengan terbuka, dan De Nanda. Meski De Nanda agak brutal dan pemalas, minimal dia selalu mau sholat 5 waktu. Tidak apa-apa kalau sekarang memang sudah punya kesibukan masing-masing, yang penting doa Papa telah dikabulkan Allah, yaitu memiliki anak-anak yang semuanya menyenangkan hati.."

Nama kami bertiga juga Papa yang memberikan. Dan sungguh aku harus merasa bangga karena nama-nama itu memiliki arti yang indah dan enak didengar 
1. Abdurrachman Wisnu Mahardi
2. Denisa Prameswari Rosandria
3. Muhammad Rezananda Trimulya

:')

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Malam ke-23 di Bulan Ramadhan

Malam Lailatul Qadar kah semalam? Entahlah.. Waallahu'alam, tapi pemandangan langit malam tadi begitu luar biasa, ketika bintang berada di tengah-tengah bulan, seperti lambang-lambang Islam yang banyak digunakan di atas Masjid itu. Subhanallah... :")


credit pic: @BurhanBanjar dan @Agus_Ws via twitter and special thanks to Dad who told to go outside to see it, and to Adhya Rizkia who pointed out the picture to me. 

Bertasbihlah kamu atas keindahan yang ditunjukkan Allah kepadamu, niscaya seluruh semesta akan bertasbih bersamamu. "Subhanallah.. Subhanallah.."

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Best Treasure

They said that highschool friends are one of those things you will treasure the most in life... I think I couldn't said it better. So, all I wanna say to these pals are words thank you. Thank you for staying with me no matter how far we've apart. Thank you for accepting my silliness, my tears, my anger, my turbulence, my uncontrollable laugh, my naivety, my indifference........  



Thank You
I'll see you guys again in another fine sunny day. We've made a promise to visit many places, to eat many interesting foods, and doing some other things together. I'll be looking forward to that time. May our laugh will remains unchanged 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How would I know?

Sometimes I'm afraid that I've talked too much and you hate me for my grumbling

Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm too quite that you hate me for my silence


Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm too careless that makes you feel unsafe


Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm the only one who keeps holding on


The thing is....


You never told me


You never say anything


How would I know that?


How would I know if I ever did you wrong?


How would I know if you ever need a companion?


How would I know? You never told me


Not even once

Monday, August 6, 2012

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Buka Bersama Lintas Angkatan

Alhamdulillah, Bukber Lintas Angkatan has been hold successfully, tho there are quite a lot of foods left, haha, but we decided to give them away :) To be able to gather such a big family is our own pleasure. Hopefully this event could strenghthen our ukhuwah as PSM UIN Jakarta. Amen.


I love Damar's voice when he was reading Quran. He always sounds great and he gave that peaceful feeling when he read those Allah's ayats :)

Pimpro of this event: Abbando. One of my craziest-closest friends who apparently could be so wise and manful when he's given such opportunity to become leader, hehehe. 

Thank you for these awesome moments PSM UIN Jakarta, as always :)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Ones I Can Always Count On

Lately, I've been feeling so down. And for these past few nights, I keep wondering about many things, crying over pointless things. My melancholic side becomes so strong when I'm alone, hahaha. This is not anybody's fault. This is happened because of my own mind, my expectation towards something. I've expected too much and got disappointed. I should have known since the very start that I couldn't rely on someone else but Allah. So, yeah, I've hurt myself.. The only one who could heal my pain is myself. But even the doctor go to another doctor when he's sick, right? To whom should I go? The answer is of course, Allah, the one and only. 

Thank God, you have surround me with many great friends. Even when I don't ask for them to come, they come, and they always be there to help me wipe my tears. Not literally, haha, but they always be there. I think they don't even realized that they have help me through my pain. They make me feel so much better when I'm in my darkest hours of my life and yet they don't know it, haha. Ya Allah, words thank you are not enough to express my gratitude towards you. I shall not expect things from anyone else but You, and there is no way I'll be disappointed. Thanks for this lessons, ya Allah. :)