About Happiness and A Friend

I finally have something to write in here again. 

Well, I have a best friend in High school named Dhanti. We were close, but we had to go separate ways. She went to Semarang because she got accepted to Universitas Diponegoro and I stayed in Jakarta. Since then, we rarely met each other. Even in a year, we would only meet once or twice, but it only lasted until my 4th or 5th semester. We became really busy. Let's say that we've got new companionship with new people, we've got new activities, we couldn't really find time to meet up anymore. But we still refer to each other as best friends until now.

Today, I found out that three weeks ago, her boyfriend had passed away, and I just found out now. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. I think the distance has separated us even further than I thought and none of us made enough efforts to call each other. A small conversation on Twitter doesn't count as a real conversation in my opinion. 

Today, I'm crying for the fact that I wasn't there with her at her hardest moment. Losing a boyfriend, someone who is dear to you, and it's not a breakup, you're literally losing him, forever, because he's gone, he passed away. I can imagine how hurtful it must be for her. It's like losing one of your important family members. And I just found out now, I feel like the dumbest person in the universe. I should have made more efforts to keep in touch with her. I feel like the worst friend ever. I don't think I've deserved the name called "friend".

But as much as I regretted it, it has passed. Lesson's learned: I still love her as my best friend and I always will, I shouldn't make the distance as an excuse to stop communicating with people, especially to those who are very special to me. I should have never left them behind. And I promise I'll fix this, I'll cherish her and everyone who is special to me more than ever. 

They said you shouldn't depend your happiness on other people, but I think our happiness, no matter what, is put in other people's happiness too, in a good way. I mean, I get really sad when my precious people are sad, but when I see them happy, I become happy too. This does not mean to our closest people only, but when you do something to help others, somewhere in your heart will be filled with joy. So, why don't we try to do that, start from our closest people?

We can't reverse the time, but we can create a better future, starting from now.